Lotte's Last Date
by Boonaw
Summary: Lotte goes on a date with Frank-kun, but little did they know, Akko and gang are stalking them. And something special happens ;)
1. 1: Dating Who?

It was a normal day at Luna Nova, Akko, Sucy, and Lotte were all on their beds, bored and silent. Lotte was busy texting on her "phone", while Sucy was pouring some substance on mushrooms to see if they'd taste different, and Akko was staring at the Shiny Rod that she was holding in her hands.

"I bet you wish that was Andrew's shiny rod huh?" Sucy jested.

"H-HEY! THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE!" Akko replied, blushing.

"Oh actually it's okay, we're in a fanfi-"

Suddenly one of the mushrooms Sucy had in her mouth expanded many times its size until it filled her mouth (no wall 4th wall breaks today :) ). Sucy coughed the mushroom out, looking at it in disgust, it looked like a stage four tumor. Sucy looked over at Akko who was trying her best not to laugh. Sucy looked at her painfully.

"What?"

"I guess your mouths so shallow you can only fit the tip in-huh!" Akko laughed hysterically!

"Well at least I'm daring enough to fit the tip in." Sucy retorted.

Sucy then pulled out her wand and pointed it at Akko.

"Any last words Kagari?" Sucy smiled angrily.

A cold sweat attacked Akko, she started to fidget until she saw and picked up her broom that was conveniently laying next to her bed. She pointed the wooden tip at Sucy.

"Don't mess with me Sucy! We'll see just who's the shallowest one of them all is!" Akko arrogantly smiled, while pushing her chest out "I hope you're into black guys!"

Akko hoped on the broom, pointing it towards Sucy's skirt. A chuckle burped from Sucy's mouth.

"I guess that's the only thing you can ride!" Sucy paused, "...Wait you can't even ride that properly"

Sucy fell to the ground laughing, kicking her feet into the air tyrannically. Akko's confidence fell down a bit as she got flustered from Sucy's roast! Akko ran up to Sucy with the broom between her legs and headed straight for Sucy's panties, ready to tesy who the shallowest one of them all was, Sucy was in looked at Akko in shock, but before Akko could penetrate Sucy's Virgo, Lotte blurted something out!

"YES! DATE DATE DATE! MY FIRST DATE!"

Akko and Sucy stopped fighting when they heard it.

'Lotte's going on a date? With who?' Sucy thought in awe.

"WHO IS IT!? ARE THEY HANDSOME!?" Akko shouted as she jumped up atop Lotte's bed.

"Not only is she retarded but she's also bipolar..."

"Well he's pretty handsome, and great!" Lotte giggled with a blush across her face.

"WHO WHO WHO!" Akko repeated, her eyes filling with glamor!

"IT'S... FRAAAANK" Lotte moaned! "Tonights gonna be so good!"

"I thought you didn't like Frank like that..." Sucy asked confused.

"Well I didn't at first, but then we kept talking over text and I found out he's also a BIG FAN OF NIGHT FALL AAAAAAAH" she screamed in joy!

Akko's let out a groan, her pupils shrank, and blood squirted from he ears, the scream shredded her ear drums.

"Are you okay Akko?" Lotte asked worriedly.

Akko nodded her head.

"Well, where are you guys going?" Sucy asked.

"Oh just to some place not super fancy, like a restaurant in town."

"I see... That's good, so is that all?"

"Well he said he wants his family to meet me, and then we can spend the night reading NIGHT FALL together AA-!"

Akko quickly covered Lotte's mouth with her sweaty hands!

"Wait you're gonna spend the night with him? Do you need protection? Because-" Sucy asked.

"She's not a mushroom god like you Sucy..." Akko interjected.

"Well... Maybe!" Lotte said anxiously.

"WHAT!?" Akko yelled in disbelief.

"Akko's getting jelous, jelous of the fact that the quite and kind, goody-toe-shoes, Lotte is getting some action, while the bold, confidant, idiot, selfish, spazzy, Akko isn't getting any action at all!" Sucy poked, teasingly.

Akko felt like she was about to vomit a wall of intestines out.

"YOU DON'T KNOW IF I GET ACTION OR-You know what... No... Anyways Lotte what are you gonna wear?" Akko asked.

"I'm going to wear the dress I wore to Andrew's party."

Lotte hopped off her bed.

"I better start getting ready, he's coming to get me in an hour!" Lotte cheered as she ran into the bathroom.

Sucy and Akko had a brief moment of silence before they looked at each other, with deviant smiles.

"I see you're thinking the same thing." Akko smiled.

"Yes, I wanna see how this date plays out."

"Hey, let's go see if Diana wants to come"

"Ha, that's gonna be hard, I bet you she's gonna say~"

-Diana's room-

"No, I have to study and this is childish." Diana responded.

"See, I told you" Sucy said, looking at Akko.

"Wow, you were totally right, and it was word for word too!" Akko replied in awe.

"Verbatim." Diana blurted.

"Huh?" Akko said confused.

"Instead of saying 'word for word' you can just say 'verbatim'.'"

"Ahuh yeah, well you can go shove your big words up you GAPING AS-"

Before Akko could continue her rant Sucy covered her mouth.

"We can't say those words, remember, we need to keep a clean image." Sucy cautioned.

"Well come on Diana, I bet you're really bored of studying all the time, let's just go have some fun!" Akko begged.

"No."

"PLEASE"

"NO!"

"Come on it'll be fun to waaatch~!" Akko begged, kissing Diana's shoes.

"Again... No! AND GET YOURSELF TOGETHER"

This continued for a good 5 minutes before a smile broke across Diana's face as she gave in.

"So persistent... Fine I'll go!" Diana caved.

Akko cheered, even Sucy was a little happy. But she stopped cheering when she noticed something off.

"Hey where's Hannah and Barbara?" Akko asked, curious.

"Oh. They went into town to watch a movie a little while ago. They'll be back before 11:00 tonight they said. Why'd you want to know?"

"Just curious is all! They would have bullied me by now."

"Well now that this is out of the way we should get to planning, we have about an hour until Lotte leaves." said Sucy.

They made a plan and got their preparations in check. Soon enough it was time for Lotte to leave. They gave their complements and wished her good luck on the date, and like that Lotte was off through the warp gate. They waited a good minute before going through themselves.


	2. 2: An Improper Location for a Rich Man

After a good minute through the warp gate they all popped out, falling on their asses.

"OWIE MY ARSE!" Akko cried.

"SHHH!" Sucy reprimanded, as she cupped a hand over Akko's mouth, pulling her and Diana into a nearby bush.

Lotte was about 10 feet away, and turned her head, looking their way for a bit, but since she wasn't getting anything out of it, she turned around and kept walking through through the forest.

"I swear I heard Akko's voice..." She whispered to herself.

Sucy uncovered Akko's mouth, and Akko gasped for air loudly, she looked as if she was going to say something rash but then Sucy pointed at Lotte. Looking at Lotte now, Akko could see why Sucy had been such a pushy fuck.

"Didn't she say she was going into town? Why are we in a forest?" Diana questioned.

"Hmm… Maybe Lotte likes a good hammering in the woods." Sucy suggested "'Oh~ please peck my bark faster Frank-kun!'" she moaned while imitating Lotte.

"Oh~ you're making my dew collect!" Akko added.

Akko and Sucy both laughed heartlessly. Diana blushed looking down in disappointment.

"That wasn't very nice… There's something wrong with you two." Diana said with a grin.

Diana popped her head out of the bush, and saw Lotte moving away quickly.

"Hey! Guys she's getting further away, we have to move now!"

The three of them began to move, keeping a 20-30 ft distance between themselves and Lotte, Akko would occasionally run into trees, everytime it happened Lotte would become very anxious. After 5 minutes of trekking through the woods, they arrived at an intersection in the city. Across the street they could see Frank, sitting on a bench, waiting for Lotte, he was shaking, and no one knew why, he was usually calm and cool. Once he saw Lotte he bolted up, wobbling back and forth like a metal spring door stop. His heart could be seen beating through his chest wildly. He waved at Lotte as if she were some kind of angle. Lotte was fairly shy seeing him in the flesh again, but happy. Frank was wearing a suit and his banana hair was on fleek today.

Lotte crossed the street and when they were near each other her gave her a hug.

"You look so beautiful!" Frank complemented slightly blush.

"A-And..." Lotte hesitated. "You look great too! My handsome banana man" she returned, blushing.

Diana and Sucy shivered in cringe.

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with young love!" Akko whispered loudly.

"Like you would know anything about it." Sucy and Diana said simultaneously.

Frank and Lotte started walking, and once they turned the corner, Akko, Sucy, and Diana hurried afterthem. Once they were by the corner , they peeked around Lotte and Frank were already to the next corner! The three of them then sprinted to the next corner but suddenly a tall figure walked in from the alley right in front of Akko. Akko smashed face first into the strangers chest, causing them both to fall over.

"Hey... You should watch where you're going, you know." the stranger, with a familiar voice coughed.

"SAYS YOU! You're the one who came out of the fucking alley like a creep…" Akko bashed. She then looked at the stranger's face, perplexed. "...Andrew?"

"Huh? Really? Andrew what are you doing here?" Diana asked, also confused.

"Wow, looks like you guys caught me. Well... I just wanted to see how Frank's date with Lotte was going to end up." Andrew confessed.

"Oh wow! Well then looks, like we're all here for the same reason!" Akko said triumphantly, puffing her chest outward.

"Akko has to puff out her chest because she's self conscious about her breasts." Sucy explained. "It's like flat bread..."

Andrew laughed.

"HEY WHAT'S UP WITH YOU TODAY~!" Akko whined, red faced.

"Heheh I just like to see you suffer." Sucy chuckled.

"Can you two cut it out? We've wasted too much time as is, they could be anywhere at this point." Diana pointed out.

Akko straightened up and marched to the corner, with the rest following suit. When she peered around the corner she couldn't see Frank or Lotte anywhere.

"Huuuaaahh? Where did the go~!?" Akko whined.

"Maybe they're in that Mcdonalds." Sucy suggested, pointing at a Mcdonalds which was only across the street.

Everyone looked over to the Mcdonalds. Andrew squinted his eyes.

"No way…" Andrew said disappointedly "Frank's too classy for... Mcdonalds."

Just as he said it, he saw Frank walk up to the menu, with Lotte beside him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Andrew slumped backward onto a wall, facepalming, and sighing in disbelief.

"That's so embarrassing, I could understand someone like Akko going to Mcdonalds on a date, but Frank? This is too much." Diana laughed.

"WHY IS EVERYONE SHITTING ON ME TODAY!?" Akko cried, flailing her arms like a real spazz.

Sucy's face jerked into a smile, saturating her spirit in Akko's dismay. After a minute or two of basically nothing Sucy suggested something.

"We really need disguises if we're gonna go in there ya know?"

"I was thinking the same thing." Diana said, taking out her wand. "Alright everyone, line up. Let's make this quick."

They followed her order and stood in a line next to each other. Diana was saying some gibberish shit, which ignited the tip of her wand. She waved it round and round, then pointed it at the group. Their figures changed drastically. Sucy morphed into a man who looks like they eat at Mcdonalds. Andrew morphed into the guy who molested that man in a prison shower. Akko turned into a more obese version of herself, and lastly Diana pointed it at herself. She morphed into a very elegant woman, with curvy and strong features, especially in the chest and rump.

Akko looked down and saw her disgusting extruding flesh.

"Why did you make me so damn fat!?" Akko asked, with her head sinking into her quadra chin.

"I felt like you could use the extra thickness" Diana blinked.

All of them now disguised walked across the street and through the door of the McDonalds. Immediately all that were in the McDonald's stared at them, and turned away awkwardly. Except some who were looking at Diana's beautiful self. Some whispers could be heard.

"Man they sure do look like they eat at Mcdonalds."

"That one guy looks like the man who fucked me in the prison showers..."

"DAMN THAT BITCH TITTIES JUGGIN'!"

Lotte glared at them and commented:

"Wow that girl sure does look like Akko, except if she really fat..." she thought a moment "So weird, I heard her voice today too..."

"That's actually my the perfect body..." Frank muttered to himself as he wiped the sweat from his forehead "...Probably soft like a moss..."

"O-oh! You like that body type hah?" Lotte awkwardly laughed in embarrassment.

Frank gently grabbed her chin and tilted her head upward. Their eyes met, Lotte was in disbelief.

"No baby… Your body, is my body!"

Lotte stared at him as if he had said something very compelling. They leaned closer towards one another ready for a sloppy embrace…

"Um sir! Can you please order!? DAMN!" the bitchy cashier shouted.

Lotte and Frank's head darted at the cashier, very embarrassed. Frank apologized sincerely, so much that they had forgotten what he had even done wrong. Seeing this Akko, Andrew, Diana, and Sucy sat down in a corner where they could observe every action within the McDonalds. When Akko sat down all her fat spilled outward, making her look like damn… Yeah. Andrew turned to her.

"Man Akko you sure look like a damn… Yeah!" Andrew laughed.

Sucy joined in.

"Yeah you look like a damn…. Yeah. And a fuckin'...Uh."

Akko looked down at all her fat "Next chapter, Akko goes home and commits suicide..." she said in a very depressed tone.

Everyone was silent.

"You still look like a damn… Yeah." Diana muttered to herself.

Thanks for reading this chapter if you got to the end! Sorry this took so long, school got in the way! One more chapter left! Don't forget to leave a review.


	3. Well Look Who it Is!

Akko, Sucy, Diana, and Andrew were disgusted, yet intrigued. Frank had ordered a full table of McDonalds fries and was shoving them through every orifice in his upper unit, at one point he got atop the table and tried to pull his pants down in order to shove so McKied's up his ass. Lotte had to pull him down.

"Holy god..." Diana muttered, "He can probably fit more in himself than Lotte ever could..."

"It's almost impressive..." Akko whispered in awe.

"I wish he could vore me like those fries..." Sucy whispered to herself.

Sucy looked Akko up and down, Akko looked back with a sullen and foreboding expression; ready to take the harassment. Sucy opened her mouth then thought about it and looked away.

Frank was snorting fries like air in a vacuum chamber, his face was bedridden with ecstasy, and a unnoticeable bulge peaked out of his pants. Frank rammed his fist against his groin.

"STOP! THIS IS A GENTLEMAN'S DATE YOU FOOL! KEEP YOUR POSITION" Frank fumed, grinding his fist into his groin even harder.

Lotte looked at his groin.

"What's he hitting?" she wondered.

Lotte looked up and saw Akko and gang watching her intently, once they saw her embarrassed expression they quickly looked away.

Lotte focused on Fatkko, "Man that girl really looks like Akko… Maybe-"

Just as she was about to go confront Fatkko, two figures walked in, spitting roasts at all the poor people of McDonalds.

"Look at this guy Hannah he's eating that burger like his girl eats his ass, what a fucking loser!" Barbera laughed.

"Nevermind him, get a load of this woman, she's probably got scaleophobia!" Hannah jeered.

They laughed ruthlessly, none of the employees seemed to mind, after all they worked at McDonalds. Akko turned away from them, lowering her head so that they could not see her, but she was far too fat, her sludge hung near to the ground, she was the perfect example of someone on McDonalds life support.

Hannah tilted her head snobbishly, "Hey fatty, trying to snuff your head into your fat like a turtle huh?" she asked.

Hannah's question wasn't met with a reply. Everyone looked away from Hannah as they didn't want any attention drawn to themselves. Though, Sucy had squawked out a few laughs, which made Akko feel horrible.

"A turtle, she called me a turtle..." Akko repeated to herself over and over.

"I think she needs another one!" Sucy coughed, with a smug face.

Akko's entirety was trembling, the fat bounced chaotically. Hannah started roasting the hell out of her now. Barbara was searching around the McDonalds to find her next burn victim when her eye's locked on Frank and Lotte.

"I-is that really Lotte Jansson? With Frank!?" Barbara questioned.

Alerted now Hannah looked and saw Lotte, on a date with Frank. Hannah and Barbera made their way to Lotte's table. Hannah slammed her hand on the table and leaned in agonizingly, wearing had a malice smile on her face.

"I guess it's good that you're here, finally gonna put some meat on that toothpick figure of yours aye?" Hannah snickered on the cusps of laughing.

Lotte's head sank to her collarbone as she tried to pay them no mind. Seeing that they didn't get a response out of her, Hannah leaned closer to Lotte's face, Lotte looked away at Frank. Frank didn't even notice the situation, he was too busy doing lines of fries.

"You really chose a McDonald's out of everything for a first date? Where'd you get that idea, from Akko?"

Akko opened her mouth about to defend herself but Sucy shoved a giant cork in it. Diana was getting nervous and annoyed.

"Damn I didn't know they could be so cold..." Diana chided.

Andrew chuckled, "You really need to find better friends !"

Hannah smudged her fingers on Lotte's cheek, rotating it back and forth.

"Is it a first date or are you the mascot? Because you sure look like a clown with that hair of yours!" Hannah laughed.

Hannah and Barbera laughed hysterically, bouncing up and down. Lotte however, wasn't fucking smiling. Lotte kissed Frank on the cheek which brought him back into reality. Lotte placed her hand on the back of Hannah's head and slammed it into the table! Hannah's head bobbed back up and a spurt of blood swam threw the air, right onto Frank's fries. Frank picked up the bloodied french fry.

He shrugged, "It's basically like Ketchup" he said.

Akko, Sucy, Diana, and Andrew's eyes widened when they saw Lotte's action, they didn't know she had a demon in her! Akko cheered Lotte on while Sucy went around the McDonalds, making bets on who'd win the fight. Barbera was absolutely flabbergasted!

"You peep lookin' fuck!" Barbera cursed as she threw her fist at Lotte, aiming for her head.

Lotte dodged it and thrusted her foot into Barbera's abdomen, making Barbera lurch backwards. As Barbera was recovering Lotte drilled both her first onto the top of her head! Barbera fell down to her knees groping her head. Hannah- who was now back up- clawed at Lotte's neck, and bulbs of rusted dew formed from the slash. Lotte backhanded her and she let out a whimper. At this point a crowd had already formed around the three fighters, even the McDonald's employees were participating in the senseless violence.

"There's no way that yellow haired girl's gonna win, just look at her, it's probably her first time at McDonalds..." a spectator said as they put $20 into one of two betting buckets.

"Those two girls roasted me so I hope to god they lose!" another person shouted, they put $50 dollars into the adjacent betting bucket.

Hannah and Barbera were side by side, only a meter or two away from Lotte. They ran at her like wild tigers, Hannah threw her claws at her once again, Lotte managed to dodge them, but Barbera followed up with a kick to her ribs which sent her flying into a group of metal chairs. Barbera ran up to Lotte, trying to batter her face, but Lotte picked up a chair and swung it into Barbera's face. As it was about to connect, Hannah grabbed the legs of the chair, attempting to break it from Lotte's grasp. The struggle was real, Lotte and Hannah pulled so hard the muscle fibers of their arms were ripping apart, Hannah was obviously stronger than Lotte and was winning the tug of war. Lotte beamed as the had a bright idea. Lotte leg go of the chair, and Hannah uncontrollably sent the chair right into Barbera's face! Barbera was swept off her feet and landed a few feet over, blood racing over her face down to her neck. She was out cold. Seeing the mess she created made Hannah go into a state of shock, Lotte jabbed the back of Hannah's head, making it jolt forward, Hannah turned around furiously and was met with Lotte's hands around her neck. Lotte's hands compressed around her neck like a cobra. Lotte pushed her towards a table. Hannah tried to fight back but she could only awkwardly stumble backwards as she tried to pry off Lotte's hands.

Suddenly Hannah fell on her back right into a cushion of fries. She looked up and saw Frank consuming fries at an alarming rate, she felt uneasy. Lotte let go of her and Hannah tried to get up. Lotte slapped her back down with a greasy serving tray. Then Lotte continuosuly bashed the tray into Hannah's bitchy face!

"Since, you, think, you, can, treat, people, like, this! This, is, what, you, get, you, stupid, fucking, bitch!" Lotte raged, and with every word she bashed Hannah's face in.

Hannah's face was swollen and bloody now, she even had tears sprinkled about it. Hannah's head swayed slowly, side to side. Lotte's grabbed her head, lifting her up a bit, then forced her head back upon the table. After that she began shoving mounds of fries into Hannah's mouth to the point that she looked like an abused *Theodore.

"Hmph, now you really look like a whore. Being stuffed like that… Tsk tsk." Lotte insulted with the least bit of emotion in her voice.

Hannah was shaking and sweating relentlessly, "I-I am sorry!" she mumbled inaudibly.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!?" Lotte hollered!

Lotte slammed her fist into Hannah's mouth, Hannah's eyes widened for a moment before she lost the all awareness in her face. Blood pooling into the french fries and off onto the table. Lotte swiped her off of the table and onto the floor. Lotte kicked her over and over to an unhealthy degree. Beholding the situation before them, Diana uncast the disguise spell and rushed to Lotte, restraining her.

"Lotte calm down!" Diana pleaded.

"NO! THAT TART NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE!" Lotte fumed and she kept kicking Hannah in the stomach. She didn't even notice that Diana was trying to stop her.

Andrew grabbed her legs and tucked them between his arms so that she'd stop her assault.

"Please stop this! I think she's had enough!" Akko cried.

Lotte heard Akko and that snapped her out of her rage.

"Akko? I knew that obese woman was you Akko! I KNEW IT!"

Sucy, seeing that the fight had ended, took both of the betting buckets and hightailed it out of the McDonalds! The employees and customers that had bet were pissed, they tried to chase after Sucy but they weren't in shape to do such labor.

Diana lead the group out of the building and into the streets. Red and blue flashing lights blanketed the area, there was a whole squad of police cars!

"Aw damn it, what do we do now!?" Akko gulped.

Andrew thought for a moment.

"Don't worry about this, just keep running, if I get arrested, my father could always just bail me out! NOW RUN!" he implored.

Diana, Lotte, and Akko ran away, the cops started to follow them but Andrew managed to stall them.

...

Akko, Diana, Sucy, and Lotte were now at Luna Nova, in Akko's room, thinking about what Lotte had done. Lotte was lamenting her actions, she felt so very terrible, and although she felt that way, everyone else felt pretty good about what she'd done.

"That was pretty cool what you did Lotte, you really shouldn't feel bad, you made me a lot of money." Sucy gushed as she rubbing her buckets full of money.

"Yeah those fuckers had it coming!" Akko followed up on, "A long time coming!"

Lotte twiddled her fingers, and looked at Diana anxiously, "...Diana, are you… Okay with this? I mean they are your friends after all… And what about the aftermath..."

Lotte's stomach started to twist and turn on itself, she was regretting everything.

Diana said quiet happily "Well it's serves them right. Like what Akko said earlier 'Those fuckers had it coming'."

"Verbatim! Yay!" Akko burst, she learned a word!

"Also don't worry about them Lotte, I'll deal with them later… Once they get out of the hospital." Diana yawned, "Goodnight, try not to think about it."

Diana got up and left to go to her own room for the night. Akko, Sucy, and Lotte laid down in their respective beds. Lotte stared at the ceiling thinking about the night.

"Anyways Lotte, how was the date?" Akko asked, trying to break the ice.

Lotte's face turned cold and bitter, her voice deepened.

"I'm never going on a date, ever, again!"

...

*Theodore - As in the Alive and the Chipmunks Theodore.

Thank you if you managed to read this far! This is the end of Lotte's last date, I hope you enjoyed it and didn't expect it to take such a turn! Please do consider following me and stay fresh you big cuck!


End file.
